Maximum Ride PSA's
by The Layman
Summary: The Flock present public service announcements about flaming people, Mary-sues, and other things. Meant to spark meaningful debate.
1. 1 Flaming

_This story is dedicated to Jewel of Athos on Wraithbait. Sorry about the flame, buddy, hope this helps._  
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Max: Hi everyone, I'm Max.

Fang: And I'm Fang.

Max: And we're here with an important message that our sponsors are making us tell you. *smiles*

Fang: *whispers* Max, I don't think we're suposse to tall them that part.

Max: *whispers* Just shut up, OK? They're paying us in doughnuts, so just keep going!

Fang: *scoffs* Whatever.

Max: *clears throat* Anyways, were here to talk with you about "Flaming" in story reviews.

Fang: So tell us, Max, what exactly is "Flaming"? *covers mic and whispers 'Who wrote this stupid crap, anyways?'*

Max: *glares at him and continues* I'm glade you asked that, Fang. Flaming is when someone writes a review for a story, and criticizes either the author or the story rather harshly.

Fang: Most of the time to the point of delibately insulting the authors' mother. *glances at Max, confused* Seriously?

Max: *continues on* It's just not nice. Most of the time these people work very hard on their stories, just to have them tared down by someone who completely missed the entire point of the story or got unintentionally offended by something in the story.

Fang: If either of these things-

Max: Or others.

Fang: -happen, then you should do one of two things. Or both.

Max: First of all, don't overreact. Calm down, and go over what you read a second time and look at it with an objective mind.

Fang: Second, calmly ask the author exactly what he-

Max: Or she.

Fang: -meant by what he wrote. It's possible that you misunderstood what you read.

Max: Also, if the story you read is badly written, don't say so.

Fang: It's usually better to just use "Constructive Criticism", calmly illustrating mistakes and offering helpful tips on how fix them.

Max: Use this sparingly though; one or two points should be enough.

Fang: *covers mic again* Are we almost done? I was just about to update my blog before-

Max: *straining* Now most of you have probably not been flamed yet, so you might not know what one looks like. *smiles evilly at Fang* Fang here will now give us an example of someone flaming.

Fang: *with straight face* This is easily the worst script ever written. It's stupid and idiotic and just a load of crap. How anyone can even show their face after writting this is just beyond me.

Max: *shocked and surprised* Exact- Hey! I wrote the script!

Fang: Oh, sorry, I take it back.

Max: *scoffs* I should think so.

Fang: It's ten times worse than that.

Max: WHAT!

Fang: Yeah. Plus, have you tasted her cooking? *turns to Max* Seriously, are you trying to kill us?

Max: *rolls up her sleeve* I am know! *leaps and tackles him, scuffle ensues*

(Test Pattern)

Angel: Hi, I'm Angel. I'm here to tell you that "flaming" is not very nice, so don't do it. And I'll know if you do it too. So if I every catch you flaming, I'll- *voice become deep and demonic and utters such unspeakable evil that we are not allowed to print it here. Voice changes back to normal* -OK? *giggles* By now!

_Authors Note; And the moral of the story is, If you every flame anyone, Angel will come to your house do things to you so terrible that people will speak of it for 1000 years. Later!_


	2. 2 Mary Sues

Iggy: Hey everyone, it's your favorite hunk of blind bird-kid hotness, Iggy!

Gazzy: And his loyal wingman, The Gasman! *whispers* But you can just call me "Gazzy" instead.

Iggy: Were here today to talk with all you wonderful fans about the subjest of...Mary-Sues!

Gazzy: Or Gary-stu's. That's the guy version.

Iggy: But for the purpose of this PSA, we will just be referring to them as Mary-Sues.

Gazzy: So tell us Ig, what exactly is the big deal with Mary-Sues?

Iggy: Mary-Sues are usually original characters that people unwittingly turn into virtual demi-gods. Common symptoms include ridiculous names...

Gazzy: Anastasia Moonleaf de Unicorn Isabella-Marie Starflame. Kind of sounds like something Nudge would come up with, doesn't it?

Iggy: *Nods in agreement* Unnatural good looks. *stares of into space, drooling. Snaps back into focus* More powers than it is humanly possible for any one person to have...(depending on the story)

Gazzy: They can; fly, turn invisible, walk through walls, have X-ray vision, have super strength, control fire, water, wind, electricity, ice, earth, light, darkness, and anything else you can think of, useful or otherwise, all at the same time.

Iggy: Having twenty or more types of animal DNA. OK, I know we in the Flock aren't shining example of purebred humans, but at least we only have wings. Try to imagine what someone would look like with all these different animal parts in their genetic makeup. Take it away, Gazzy! Uh, Gazzy? GAZZY!

Gazzy: Ahhh! What?

Iggy: Why were you sleeping just now? You totally just missed your cue.

Gazzy: Sorry. *Yawns* Reading all those Mary-Sue powers really took a lot out of me. You got any food on you?

Iggy: Sure, here's a chocolate bar. Now read your lines!

Gazzy: OK,OK. *fumbles with script* Fins, tail, ears, claws, and wings.

Iggy: They have the uncanny ability to push any legitimate characters to the side and completely take over the story, as well as start participate in really wierd pairing. I mean really weird. Trust me.

Gazzy: And they can be almost impossible to kill, even at their worst.

Iggy: In short, Mary-Sues are abominations that can completely ruin a good story just by existing.

Gazzy: So from us to you, the valued writers, we say...

Both: Stop making Mary-Sues!

Off page: And... Cut!

Gazzy: Wow, we did really good, didn't we?

Iggy: Yeah. I really liked the script a lot. Who wrote it anyway?

Gazzy: Um, it looks like Fang did.

Iggy: Really? You know, now that I think about it, it does kind of sound like Fang's writing.

Gazzy: Uh huh, much better than Max's.

Iggy: Yeah. Fang was so right to make his own PSA.

Gazzy: Hey, maybe we should make him the leader of the Flock instead of Max.

Iggy: You think that'll work?

Gazzy: Sure, just as long as Max doesn't-

*Max walks in*

Max: Hey guys, what's-

Both: WHAT BOMB?!

Max: -Shaking. *glares suspiciously at boys* What do you mean, "What bomb"?

Iggy: Sorry, reflex. What did you want? *sweatdrops*

Max: Nothing, I just wanted to know if either of you wanted any of the cookies that-

Gazzy: COOKIES?! WHERE?

Max: I left them on the desk in the lobby. You'd better hurry before the rest of the Flock wats them.

Both: OUTTA MY WAY! *race down hall for cookies*

Max: *snickers* That's right guys, you go enjoy the cookies I made. *laughs and walks through wall*  
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_Author's Note; Hey everyone, Layman here! Guess what, I wrote another Public Service Announcement a la the Flock! Is it as good as the last one? Worse? Please tell me. See you soon!_


	3. 4 Punctuation

Director; *from offscreen* OK, this is the final take of the day, so let's try not to goof around too much. Alright? Good. Annnnnnnnnnd action!

Angel; Hi, I'm Angel-

Nudge, I'm Nudge-

Ella; And I'm Ella-

Angel; And we're here to talk with you about a very serious issue regarding the proper writing and general integrity of fanfiction.

Nudge; Wow, that's almost as long as something I'd say.

Ella; Is that really your line?

Angel; Yep. Actually, it was originally going to longer, but-

Director; Girls, we're burning daylight here! Stick to the script.

All; *in unison* Sure!

Nudge; Anyways, we're her to educate you about....

All; Proper punctuation!!!

Ella; As important as proper spelling and grammar are, punctuations are not to be overlooked.

Nudge; they may be small, but they can be just as important to a story as the most passionate, romantic love scene.

Ella; *says dreamily* Or anything Edward Cullen says....

All; *sigh*

Director; Script!

All; Right!

Angel; For example, a simple comma can be the difference between a great moment in the story, or just a terrible run-on sentence.

Ella; Like this..., *clears throat* "I can take you to where the killer is" a dark grey figure said emerging for the alley "but the are some conditions that I need met first."

Nudge; That didn't sound very good.

Angel; No, it didn't. Now here's what it sounds like with all the proper punctuation in place. Ella?

Ella: "I can take you to where the killer is," a dark, grey figure said, emerging from the alley, "but there are some conditions I need met first." Wow, you're right, that does sound much better.

Angel; See what just onen little symbol in all the right places can do?

Nudge; It realy does make a story better.

Ella; Remember, punctuations are our friends too! *big, pasted-on smile*

Nudge; ZOMG, that was just way too corny.

Angel; *nods in agreement* Seriously....

Ella; I know! I don't even know why I read it, it sounds like something from those old educational flims from the 40's.

Nudge; Yeah! I mean, what were these people thinking when they wrote this?!?

Angel; I could tell you.

Nudge/Ella; Really?!?

Director; JUST READ THE $#%$# &^$&%$ *&%%$ &**%*% CHICKEN %$^ *%$ *&^ #&%^ SCRIPT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ella; Anyways, tune in next time when we talk about swearing with symbols.

Nudge; *leans in close to camera and whispers conspiratorially* Is it really swearing? *leans back*

All; Bye now! *all wave*

Asst. Director; Annnnnnnnd cut!  
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_Author's Note; Layman here, bringing you Maximum Ride PSA #4! If you haven't noticed already, (with the exception of the Christmas broadcast), I have been bringing forth issues in the fanfiction community that I think need to be addressed._

_I'm not saying that if you are guilty of any of the things I've mentioned then you are a bad writer and don't even deserve to think about looking at this site. (Covered in "Maximum Ride on Flaming".) I do this only to aid my fellow author and help the community grow._

_If you have any issue with what I'm saying, that's fine, it's perfectly natural to think that is you feel your credibility as a writer is threatened (or however you happen to feel, I only used the first thing that came to my head). I guess what I'm trying to say is keep an objective mind and be open to constructive criticism._

_Oh, and the next topic of discusion is not going to be text-like symbol swears, that was just a humor device for the story._


End file.
